theme
"

that’s the way it was, you know? we’d lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and say, “if i go in tomorrow i will kill myself” and mean it all the way and then when the morning came, we’d get out of bed and sling backpacks over our shoulders. maybe that’s the reason everyone thought we were faking it: because we were so damn awful at going through with it.

god, how many of my friends ended up underground. humans remember pain in odd ways. i know when you died i clutched my chest and howled for hours. it still hurts, but not as bad as it used to. i always think, “i’ve lived through this enough times that i’ll be alright the next time,” but i don’t think we ever really learn how to be alright at all.

and you hurt and you wake up and you remember the pain from last night in an odd way and you say to yourself, well, okay, i can handle today, it’s a wound but it’s healing. and then at night you say, no more of this ever again. and the cycle starts over again.

god, but did i live for the weekends. what a waste of life that is: hating five out of seven days. what were they even supposed to be teaching us, because all i learned is that you can be bone-crushingly tired and so sad that the smallest things make you cry and you will still be able to put both feet on the floor the next day. i guess it taught me i could survive anything, but it wasn’t a lesson i think they kept in the curriculum. were we supposed to be so young and already know so much about sorrow?

god, these quiet mornings. i hate remembering. i hate being.

"
- (i’m sad, but i’m staying, and so should you) // r.i.d (via inkskinned)
"

sometimes it feels like
there’s
static
in my head.
does that make sense?
like something is growing over my thoughts
until everything has this cotton-soft
haze that nothing
gets through.

and once one thing slips,
everything does.
i start forgetting things i made
four notes trying to remember.
i get slow and
stop caring.

and the real me
just sits,
screaming behind this silkscreen
and my body just keeps on
chugging
even though
it’s completely
empty.

"
- 10.16.2014 // r.i.d (via inkskinned)
"And though
the light
was not strong,
the darkness could not
conquer it."
- For those who cup their hands around the last flicker of hope they have even if it burns their hands /// r.i.d  (via inkskinned)
"How can a person have
survived so much and still
want to survive me?"
- r.i.d. | inskinned (via inkskinned)

coolben94:

Dear past self,

When u cut off ur hair mom wont be that mad and you dont have to run away.

From,
Ben (that’s you)

"

WHAT WOMEN LOOK FOR IN MEN:

will you still hold me after sex when my legs are shaking and I can hear the world creeping in between my eyelids and my stomach starts churning with every word my parents raised me on - will you be able to kiss the taste of communion wine off of my lips while I’m lying there, thinking of what my God is going to do when he sees how often I’ve been on my knees. In the shower the morning after will you hear how sad I am instead of expecting head, will you ask why it is that recently I’ve pulled into my mind so I don’t laugh with my whole body anymore, just the parts you’re looking for, will you still want to get naked with me once I’ve broken down and become empty in front of you, once I can’t hide behind dim lights and good angles and quick jokes that are more self-deprecating than they should be, will you still pull me to your chest if halfway through sex I start sobbing because my grandfather is in the hospital and dying and I feel like my entire family hates me and if they knew what I was doing they would put me out on the street, would you say “I love you” and mean it beyond wanting a night full of passion and hickies - because I’d really rather you skip the lie and just sleep with me - would the face you show me be the same one you have in front of your buddies or is this all some act to get me comfortable, would you listen to the space in between words where I say things that aren’t audible, would you care enough to know that I’ve been faking being whole, would you sit and expect nothing from me on the days where the blackness in my soul swallows up everything so I can’t even get out of bed without regretting that I am still breathing, would you be there for me because

my daddy raised me to believe that all men leave. You package our hearts in small white takeout boxes and then exeunt stage left, cackling in the darkness. You kiss us like we’re the only thing on your mind and text your side chick when we fall asleep. You say you’ll treat us like a princess when I’ve only ever wanted to be equal. Men leave once they get what they want, my daddy told me. You can’t keep him if he’s not trying to scrape something out from the inside of your palms. Don’t be so emotional, don’t be a burden, don’t get mad at how he treats other girls. “The mistake all women make,” my father told me, “Is thinking they can change men. It just doesn’t happen.” I think about this while I’m washing our dishes and you raise your voice about something small. I think about this every time you kiss me without noticing I’m hurting. My daddy said all men are pigs but

my momma once pushed back my hair and told me that the only thing to look for in a man is someone that would make me happy. She said we fall in love an average of eight times before we find the one we stick with. She said a little pain is gonna happen now and then. She said that my daddy is a good-for-nothing cynic and needs to maybe drink some tea and calm down a little, she said that even if I got left behind seven hundred times, I am still her daughter and that means I am strong as this Earth’s crust. She said you’ve just gotta put your faith in the universe. Just let go. Just trust.

WHAT WOMEN LOOK FOR WHEN LOOKING FOR LOVE:

just somebody who would make us feel good enough.

"
- Maybe that’s asking too much. /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)
"when it gets
dark outside
you set fire
to yourself."
- (maybe you don’t value yourself enough or maybe you link destruction with love) /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)
"

i need to stop teasing death
with silver blades and booze
skipped meals and pills,
always flirting with
the promise of a lasting relationship

my heart is starting to wonder if
i might just

commit.

"
- Close your eyes, darling, don’t let him see you flinch. /// r.i.d
parkingstrange:

xoheart-on-her-sleeve:

sassy-satan666:

unmutekurloz:

raspberryskittles:

dion-thesocialist:

isn’t there a part of the bible where god gets mad at a fig tree for not having any figs on it and curses the fig tree?

yeah there legit is that’s 100% true

Yes.



Oh my god

last time we reblogged this we got anon hate from the christian community. You guys really are passionate about your figs.

parkingstrange:

xoheart-on-her-sleeve:

sassy-satan666:

unmutekurloz:

raspberryskittles:

dion-thesocialist:

isn’t there a part of the bible where god gets mad at a fig tree for not having any figs on it and curses the fig tree?

yeah there legit is that’s 100% true

Yes.

Oh my god

last time we reblogged this we got anon hate from the christian community. You guys really are passionate about your figs.

nicojoness:

our reenactment game was strong today…. heyusashow needs to never end!

nicojoness:

our reenactment game was strong today…. heyusashow needs to never end!

takingonmerlin:

You wanted more reenactments and we are here to give ya another! The countdown to heyusashow being back begins!

mistress-laufeyson:

ramon-salamander:

witchlingfumbles:

GUISE

GUISE

IF YOU HIT “X+C” IT SHUTS OFF EVERY GIF ON YOUR DASH

EVERY SINGLE ONE TURNS TO A LITTLE GREY BOX WITH A LOCK

GUISE

TUMBLR HAS MADE ITSELF SAFE FOR EPILEPTICS

PASS IT ON

I BRING FORTH THIS KNOWLEDGE TO ANY FELLOW TUMBLRITES/SEIZURE-PRONE PEOPLE THAT MAY FOLLOW ME

KINDLY THANK THE OP FOR THIS KNOWLEDGE

I AM A HUMBLE MESSENGER

oh i thought this would be useful for when your parents walk by but ok

inkskinned:

before you make fun of a person doing something brave and vulnerable like dancing or singing or reading poetry in front of a lot of people:

  1. don’t.